This morning I looked up into the forest and to my surprise I saw a mist slowly moving toward me. It appeared to be like a blanket that enshrouded the leaves and grass as it slowly passed down the side of the hill. It was as if God were saying, “Go to sleep my creation.” It reminded me of the times that I pulled the covers over my children just before they fell a sleep.
As I sit on the porch this morning I was praying and asking God what he wanted me to write about, as well as what he would desire for me, to learn from him at this time. My eyes were drawn to the open cask of rainwater that was before me. As I looked into the still water I could see the reflection of the trees and grass in the meadow. It was beautiful watching the water change from glass to the ripples that altered their reflection before me. My thoughts began to wander at that point as I looked at the forest in the distance. Its beauty was breath taking as I viewed each shade of green and watched the branches sway to and fro on the many different trees.
My thoughts brought me back to the reflective pool that was before me. This calm water seemed to be telling me that what I saw was only a reflection and not that which was real. I recalled at that point what Jesus said about our world. (John 14:2) “In my father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go there to prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”
|When life is like rushing waters, he calms my soul.|
As I sat contemplating this scripture, my thoughts took me back to a place not to long in my past. I had a bad cough and it progressively was getting worse, so I went dutifully to the doctor. I was given x-rays and was told that I must have further tests done. Black spots were seen in my left lung, liver and kidneys. I asked the PA what it meant, he said that he could not be sure, and judging by the grave look on his face, I could see that perhaps it was serious. I remember waiting for the results of the tests to come back, and at the same time, doing searches on the web for possible health issues facing me. Each day I prayed for God’s wisdom and direction into what I should be doing. I remember enjoying each minute with my family and looking at each hour as something very precious. I came to realize that my time might not be long for this world. I noticed every smell and touch that now seemed so precious to me. I then came to realize that all the things that weighed on my heart before now, seemed so insignificant. Every time I looked into my wife’s eyes and that of my children, I wanted their image to burn into my soul so that I would not forget them, and to now enjoy every second that I spent in being with them. Each day I saw it as a wonderful gift from God and I wanted to enjoy that day to the fullest, and to not take anything for granted.
|He lights my way in my darkest hour.|
I prayed that God’s will be done, and that if it be his will, I asked to be healed from what ever I had wrong in my body. I remember asking Jesus that if it not be his will that I be healed, to help me to enjoy what life I had left, and by his grace, to see and do his will so that he may be glorified. Finally, I asked him that I not be filled with self pity.
After what seemed an eternity, the results came back and the black spots had disappeared completely. My thoughts raced back to the moment when the PA told me, "It might be very serious;" now the doctor was telling me that he could not explain where the spots had gone. He smiled, and said that I was now completely well. Needless to say, I was so very relieved, and I praised God with all my heart. I remember asking God to help me to not forget how precious his life that he gave to me was, and for me to remember this always. I also remember asking him to help me to put things into perspective, as I did when first diagnosed with my illness, and to not take life for granted ever again.
|In troubled waters, he helps me to find my way.|
As I sit here today, my thoughts go back to that time of waiting and wondering how long I had to live. I now realize that we don’t know how long we each have here on this earth. But, I know that we do have control over how we treat each day of our lives. I know that Jesus has prepared a place for me and my loved ones in heaven, and that this is not my home, it is with him. I am only a visitor here and so I realize that I must be a grateful guest and thank our Lord for allowing me to stay here in this temporary home, for as long as he allows.
When we come to know Jesus, we realize we are all passing by in this world, travelers going to a place of eternal rest and peace, to be with our father. Some stay here in this world for many years, while others are called to their real home, early on. I now realize, that some day I will be asked to come home, and the ones that I leave behind will one day be with me, and others that have gone on before me will be waiting for me, to be with them. But, for this time that I have left in this temporary home, I desire to serve our Lord and praise him for all that he is and all that he has given to me.